Up the Pamper Pole .... or Writing as an Extreme Sport

So, this week I spent half a day in the woods with my colleagues from work. I’m part of a marketing team at one of the largest healthcare supply distributors in the country, and I’m lucky enough to have found a place among a small group of talented, smart and caring individuals.

And here’s the thing. We were in the woods for some Extreme Team Building (cue drum roll and dramatic, loud music). I’ve only been part of this team for about 8 weeks, but even I could see after one or two of the challenges in the woods that we work pretty darn well together. We had to figure out how to cross a “river of lava” together using only tiny carpet squares to keep our feet from “sinking.”  We had to move each person through a giant “spider web” without touching any of the ropes. In some cases, we had to literally lift people completely off the ground and pass them through holes in the web higher than our own heads. We strapped on harnesses for zip lining across a ravine. And the most extreme activity? The Pamper Pole.

The Pamper Pole is an individual challenge only in that you are physically by yourself as you climb a 35 foot tall utility pole. Yes…you’re in a harness with a belay and a guide to keep you safe from life threatening falls…but you don’t seem to notice the pinch of the harness or the tug of the safety rope as you climb higher and higher on metal loops no wider than your tennis shoe. The pole begins to sway. Your hands begin to sweat. In my case, my arms began to shake and it seemed my breath was suddenly louder than any of the wind or bird song in the woods.

The goal is to climb to the top and then….wait for it….STAND on top of the darned pole! With both feet! (Do I have to remind you that the pole is a standard utility pole? Go on…walk outside for a minute. I’ll wait…… Find a telephone pole. Looks high, doesn’t it? And maybe just a smidge too small to stand on with both feet? Um. Yep. Good eye.)

It gets worse.

Once you are standing up there, swaying in the breeze, your knees knocking and your heart racing, you’re supposed to JUMP INTO THIN AIR and try to catch hold of a trapeze suspended about 10 feet away from the pole.

Seriously. This is what my boss made us do this week.

And you know what? We all did it. Some of us clambered up there like spider monkeys, stood at the top with great poise, and caught the trapeze like one of the Flying Karamotzov Brothers. (Not me, by the way.) Some of us convinced ourselves to overcome nerves and fear and strap on the harness and climb only part way up.

But we all succeeded. And here’s why: we had support. We’d been through a lot already together. Heck, once you’ve crossed a river of lava on a set of tiny carpet squares or navigated your way though a giant spider web as a team, nothing can stop you! You are invincible.

It was freeing and exhilarating, fun and yes…team building…to play these games together. I can’t speak for each of my colleagues, but I know I found myself willing to step outside of my comfort zone over and over – willing to take chances and leap from the side of a 35 foot pole into thin air, knowing that the encouragement I heard from below would keep me safe. Those voices below shouting encouragement and laughter were as much support as the belay and strong rope attached to my harness.

I know. Someone out there is starting to wonder how this ties back to what this blog is all about: writing. Here’s the thing: support is a wonderful gift. With the support of a community or a friend or a team, you are stronger, more powerful, and more talented than you are alone. With support, a writer can move from the harsh grip of writer’s block or the grinding drudgery of self doubt into the beauty and freedom of poetry or the ebb and flow of a long and heartfelt story.

So find a community of writers. Find listeners. Find readers. Find others with like passions for your genre and open yourself to their thoughts. You will find, I am sure, that they can be the harness and rope that will keep you from falling.

Remember: the support of others will make you strong and set you free to write with grace. It will keep you afloat even when you take chances you never thought you’d take. With support, you’ll reach the top of the tallest pole – take on the hardest writing challenge – and stand straight and tall despite the swaying and the wind.

Leap. Your writing friends will catch you.

Brave Writer

So…I’ve been working on two new manuscripts over the last…oh…two years. Well, one of them I’ve only just started recently, but the other one – code named RLR – has been a work in progress for a very long time.

It started off with a bang – tons of words over a very short time. Then it slowed to a trickle while I was co-writing and editing a different novel with a dear friend. I still poked around at it, but really didn’t make much progress. Then another wave of frenetic activity where I counted words, set goals and plowed forward. Followed…again…by a period of procrastination.

Well, if the pattern is to hold, it is now time for more focus. More goal-setting. More WRITING on that particular story. And there is a story to tell – one that is still floating in and out of the little gray cells in my head. That’s how I know that it isn’t just a dead end, you see. I can still see the characters, still wonder late at night what Neil would say or what Sid would do… How can I get Neil another guitar after I wrote that he left his behind when he ran with Sidney? What will Sidney do when she finally meets her long lost father? Will the villain catch up to them? The answers are in my head. Now I just need to get the energy and momentum to get them past my fingers and into a file.

But then comes the really scary part. Letting someone else in on their story. Eventually, I have to share it with someone. I’ve taken scenes to my critique group over time, but nothing sequential. They’ve seen a bit of the story here, and smidgen of a chapter there. Not enough to tell if I’m building cohesive characters, let alone a plot that hangs together. Don’t get me wrong…their help is invaluable. They are readers and writers, which is a very good thing to have in a critique group. If your partners are readers, first and foremost, they can offer observations about your style, pacing, word choice, etc. that help tighten paragraphs and force you to think about why you write the way you do.

I’ve found myself wanting something more specific, though. I hoped to find a group or partner who also writes the same genre. I needed someone with experience in YA and children’s lit to take a peek and let me know if I’m heading down a solid path, or heading down a proverbial rabbit hole.

So, I got brave. I’m a member of a website called She Writes. Mostly, I’m a lurker and a blog advertiser. I read other postings from folks in the groups and I promote Carpe Keyboard and my contests, but I’ve never used any of their other features or services. Until one day last week. When I got brave.

I posted a plea on a few of the She Writes groups. A sort of personal ad. “Married 40-something writer seeks other writer(s) of young adult stories. Loves to read and offer sage advice. Looking for honest feedback. Hates pina coladas, but does have an affinity for rain, as long no walking required…”

You get the idea.

Got a response, from another YA writer who offered to trade some pages so we could test out a critique round. I sent her a few chapters. I held my breath for about an hour (okay…maybe a minute, but seemed LOTS longer than that) after I clicked Send. Part of me was worried that she’d hate it. She’d realize in the first few sentences that I’m a hoax. A quack. A woman curiously obsessed with teenagers and their stories, who has very little talent and even less skill with words.

But, because I was being brave, I tried to forget about it until I saw her rather quick reply. She turned around my chapters overnight – reading them and giving really insightful comments! And no…she didn’t hate it. Or if she did, she kept that to herself.

But I’m pretty sure she didn’t hate it because she went on to send me chapters of one of her projects to read and critique. And guess what? I’m loving her story and her style.

Like a blind date in a way. We know nothing about one another, other than what our She Writes profiles say (which is little). But we know that we are writers. And I suppose we can now realize that we are brave writers who seek out comments and critique. Brave writers who want to write better than we did last week, hope to write even better next week. And one of the best ways to get better is to get your work out there in front of readers. Be open to their reactions, ideas, and questions. Take comments seriously – without giving your audience all of the power. It still is YOUR story, after all.

But open up. Seek feedback. Soak it up. Learn from it.